to lose someone again
by ShallNeverSurrender
Summary: Loki is happy with Fandral, not a day passes without Loki thinks about his love for the blonde gentleman and how lucky he was that day when he sat in the library. But time changes rather fast, and Fandral is sent to go on a journey to Alfheim, leaving Loki alone yet again, with Thor.
1. Chapter 1

_A fanfiction written by me and my sick need to satisfy my writing need. I get nothing from this, and I don't own any characters. It is also un-beta'd._ **YOU SHOULD READ THE FIRST PART OF THIS BEFORE READING THIS!** - to lose someone.

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Loki is happy with Fandral, not a day passes without Loki thinks about his love for the blonde gentleman and how lucky he was that day when he sat in the library. But time changes rather fast, and Fandral is sent to go on a journey to Alfheim, leaving Loki alone yet again.

They spend their last night together in Fandrals chambers, bodies moving together as if they were synced, sweet moans soon filled the room together with soft whispers of promises and love, of eternal love and how Fandral would come back as quickly as possible.

But as the morning sun rose over Asgard, Loki lay alone in the large bed, nothing but yesterdays heat to comfort him. Loki tells himself they will come home quickly, yet he sleeps in Fandral's bed each night, never once leaving the room.

Though, two weeks turn into three weeks and soon it's become five weeks and Loki hasn't seen Fandral. _Everyone else but Fandral has returned._

_Fandral hasn't returned._ Loki bites his bottom lip softly as he tries to hold back those tears of sadness. He is once again in Fandrals chambers, lying in the large bed consisting of so many blissful memories. Loki feels weak, feels stupid for he hates feeling weak but he can't help it. _He wants Fandral back…_

Soon those two weeks had turned into two months, still no sign of Fandral.

Thor, so big and strong, the big brother of the two sees his brother's sadness, sees the hurt within him, yet Thor feels nothing but happiness. He is happy for Loki has lost the one he loved and now, Thor will have what is rightfully his.

He approaches Loki one night; hidden by shadows and the late hour, at first he is gentle, he hugs Loki and strokes his hair. That soft, wonderful raven colored hair. Thor caresses Loki's pale, tear-struck cheeks, and whisper softly in his ear.

"Brother… Do try to forget, for he is no longer among us." Thor's words is quiet yet vibrating and they hit Loki as if Thor had beaten him. Those words render Loki to nothing but a heap of tears; thrown into his brother's arms.

Thor basks in the glory of once again being his brother's favorite person; once again it is he who holds Loki and comforts him.

"T-thor-" Loki cries, pushes his face into the strong chest, biting his lip hard for he hates to be this weak infront of Thor, yet he cannot help himself when Thor is there, holding him close, comforting him like that. So he cries. He cries harder than ever, until he has no tears left and he falls asleep in Thor's strong arms.

More nights go by without a trace of Fandral, and Thor is often by Loki's side at night, holding him dearly. The brotherly love once again rising, but no! Loki can't, he has devoted himself to Fandral and no one else. Loki doesn't feel for Thor anymore, yet Thor, he feels stronger than ever, wants Loki as _his._ To mount him, to use him.

So once the moon is high over Asgard, Thor's comforting hands venture lower; he grows impatience and bold. The movements of Thor's strong hands under Loki's tunic rips a choked sob from him; but he's too weak to push his brother off; too weak to yell at Thor.

Thor's hands are soon all over the pale body; they're rough and not comforting at all. They claim Loki in the most disgusting ways and Loki cries while his brother takes him.

"L-loki-" Thor howls his pleasure, using that pale body as he pleases. Once done, Thor leave, he leaves Loki as a crying mess; pain creeping over his body in places he didn't know off, blood trickle down from the many nips Thor had given him. Seed mixtured with blood trickle down Loki's entrance, dries into the sheets.

Disgusting. Loki thinks, he is disgusting. It must be Loki, why else would Thor do such a thing? Thor must hate him more than ever, must hate how weak Loki is. Tears stream down Loki's cheeks; his eyes swollen and red. He is disgusting.

Thor comes back night after night, and uses Loki. His hands move over a pale, naked chest. It doesn't arch into his touch as when Loki was with Fandral. Loki is just lying there. Thor growls and tweaks the two nipples; he is furious. Why can't _he_ give Loki that pleasure? Loki choks on a sobbed cry again, trying to muffle it with his hands. Enraged, Thor flips his brother over and shoves Loki's head deep into the pillows. And then Thor confirmes his deepest thoughts,

"You are weak!" he growls as he rises Loki's arse high in the air; giving it a loud smack.

"Weak." Another smack and Loki's arse is burning, he whimpers his discomfort; his pain and cries for "No" isn't loud enough for Thor continues his assault, spanking Loki harder and harder until Thor's hand is hurting from the ministrations.

"N-no!" a broken sob leaves Loki, but it only spurs Thor onward as he rams his manhood deep inside of his already broken being. If Thor can't bring Loki the pleasure Fandral can; then atleast _he_ can have that pleasure. Once again it ends with Thor coming deep inside of Loki; coating his insides with white before he retracts and Loki falls down on the bed; sobbing and whimpering, for he is disgusting.

It all ends one night though; Thor can't find Loki. He is not in Fandrals chambers, he is not in his own chambers. Loki is nowhere to be seen. Thor is angry once more, is Loki denying him his pleasure? Never once, Thor stops to think that perhaps, perhaps this is because he never told Loki of his love. Perhaps this have happened because Thor treated him as he did. But Thor is angry, and he can't see straight for all he sees is Loki ignoring him, being with Fandral and mewling under him, moaning _"Fandral-"_ as he comes.

Upon reaching the library, Thor stiffens. Something is out of place; the doors are barricaded, but with force Thor easily opens them.

"Loki I know you are in here. Don't run from me-" Thor laughs softly, but he isn't thinking nice thoughts, he's thinking of how to punish his weakling of a brother; his love.

Thor is answered by silence and the soft whisper of a wind caressing his shoulders. That is when, he stumbles upon a body.

"Loki?" For the first time in many nights, Thor's voice holds sorrow and a caring tone; for it is Loki who's lying on the stone cold floor, green eyes staring to the skies and beyond. The pale face has gone even paler, his beautiful hair now matte and lifeless. On his chest lies a note, addressed to Thor.

"_I am sorry for being so weak, but a soul can only take his much. I am robbed of not only my love, but my brother. I know of the hatred you feel for me so I am to end this now. Dearest brother, I am to meet Fandral again for we are no longer among you. Farewell brother"_

And for the first time in many nights; Thor howls his sorrow, he cries, even though he is a warrior and should not, he cries for the love of his brother, and the realization. _He drove his brother to do this._ He reads the last two words again, loud sobbings muffled by Loki's chest.

"_Farewell brother."_


	2. Chapter 2

Loki had a beautiful funeral, late one day in august, snow had fallen even though it was summer, the white snowflakes covering the many flowers looking like a thin sheet of lace, decorating Loki's final resting place. Speeches was held for the pale prince of Asgard as everyone was saying their last goodbyes to him. Everyone was present, except for Thor.

Thor sat in Loki's chambers; he couldn't stand being at the funeral, seeing Loki's resting face. Not when he felt the guilt coursing through his body, the anger mixing with the sorrow. He had done this, had made Loki take his own life.

"I am sorry brother-" he cried, his eyes red from crying, his face looking nothing like the happy oaf Loki used to call him.

"I am so very sorry-" his voice faltered and he buried his face in his hands, rocking back and forth.

The snow fell peacefully outside, as if nothing had ever happened. As if the house of Asgard hadn't been deprived of their second prince.

_Loki was no longer among them._

Slowly everything turned back to normal, that was until Fandral returned, as if he had risen from the dead. _But that, and following events, is an entirely different story._


End file.
